Thoughts that have come to my humbled mind.

Disclaimer: There are many typos and I care not to correct them.

Why can't i put all my thoughts in one
place, one book, and be acknowledged for
the truth and pain that i feel for life, humans,
and myself?

because I'm flawed.......

I'm human. and would i want to be god?
i don't think so, because if i have this
feeling of doubt and pain as a mere human i
cannot think how much more god feels. i say this
not as a heretic, but as someone who feels burden
how cannot god love his creation without burden.

is it because we cannot fathom god?

maybe, but if we are made in his likeness isn't
there a small amount of human feeling that is the
same as god's feeling. so if our insignificant
human feeling can feel pain and sorrow for man
kind, how can we not say that god does not feel
this very same way about something that he has made
with his own abilities.


In all my experience with humans, and the
pain that they have caused me I've never
expressed my anger. I'm angry for the
way things have turned out in my life.
angry for where i am and angry at
every waking thought that my mind procures
but then i think how can i feel this anger
when it has brought me so much happiness
my husband, my daughter and the good
things that have happened to me in my
life that others will never never ever
experience in this life or the next.
It's like Jesus. there cannot be love
without pain. there cannot be hope and
justification (justice, and freedom and love)
without sacrifice. why are the holy always
lost and confused yet after death they
bring nothing but hopes and dreams for
others to build their goals and lives upon,
and still have the
knowledge and truth that others
have always struggled to achieve
I think of the word Martyr because
Bryan mentioned it. That's all they are
sufferers who know the truth and pain
first hand yet still willingly give of themselves
so that others may find the path
that leads to ultimate freedom.

why am i most creative when I'm inebriated
with the thing i despise most. The thing
that i wish to ignore and disregard.

Is that a symbol for life?

you cannot have the good with out the bad.
cliche, i know and even the phrase cliche is cliche
but truly i would not have these moments of
brilliance without the aid of alcohol.